I accepted Waterloo’s offer of admission earlier today. It wasn’t easy.
To accept, I first had to cancel and invalidate Toronto’s offer of admission. So I had to choose – mechanical engineering (Toronto) or electrical engineering (Waterloo)? For better or worse, I went with the latter. I think I’ll be about equally happy in either, but maybe a bit more so in mechanical engineering. Still, it can’t be by much, and Waterloo’s co-op program is unrivalled. So I went with Waterloo. And I hope to whatever God there is that I picked right, and that I end up with an intense love for electrical engineering.
It got to the point where I was going to flip a coin to decide. And I realized then, that if the coin told me to go to Toronto, I’d still want to go to Waterloo. So that helped me choose Waterloo. It’s the school I’ve been gunning for all of high school, and it’s top-notch when it comes to education and employability. So it should have been an easy decision.
But it wasn’t. When I went on the OUAC website to confirm the acceptance, I got a weird constriction in my throat, and I felt oddly helpless. It was that big a decision for me. Like in Tim O’Brien’s On the Rainy River, I just felt completely helpless and powerless. Ironic, because the decision was mine and mine alone. I hope I chose right.
It doesn’t help that Toronto is supposedly excellent for mechanical engineering, and Waterloo for electrical engineering. So in the end, the university weighed as heavily in my decision as the program did. I guess if I don’t like the program, I’ll switch next year, but it is a waste of time and money. That being said, it’s way better than doing something I don’t like for the rest of my life.
I’m seventeen, I should be worrying about what to have for breakfast, not what to do with the rest of my life. I just don’t feel ready to decide. But then, I guess maybe we never are.
Dear God, if you’re really out there, please let me have chosen right.