This takes “pathetic” to unprecedented lows. I’m probably going to delete this when I actually look for a job in a couple months. Good God I hope I actually find a job.
Does having a long name guarantee a job?
Previous Job Experience
I’ve mowed my neighbors’ lawn?
- I volunteered for two and a half years at Kumon Learning Center
- Various school related volunteering projects
These activities undoubtedly taught me greatly in skills such as communication, work ethic, time managment, leadership, public speaking, smiling while bored, and of course, I did these because I’m genuinely a good person who wanted to help out.
- Proficient in Microsoft Office
- Been running a WordPress blog for just over a year
- Able to provide generic terms “perseverant, team-player, cooperative, and responsible”
- Can juggle 3 balls with a multitude of mind blowing tricks
Why can’t this actually be on a resume?
Available upon request. Though I sincerely hope you don’t request. Please hire me.